Another view

Emma Thompson's new film, Nanny McPhee, is about an ugly old woman who magically appears and turns a bunch of horrors into civilised children. She isn't really a nanny, though, because nannies stay with families for a long time, and Nanny McPhee is only temporary. What the children are really looking for is a new mum, and they get one of those at the end of the film - surprise, surprise.

The problem with being a real nanny is that the mother is usually around, so you have to take on some of her roles but still work alongside her. If the kids want you to be their mum instead, then, in a sense, you haven't done your job properly, because it's the mum who employs you, not the kids, and you have to stay on the right side of her. Mothers want their kids to like their nanny but love their mum - it's a tricky balance to pull off. As soon as the kids in that film found a new mum, Nanny McPhee couldn't be off sharp enough, traipsing through the hillside with her cane. She also had magic powers on her side - one bang of that cane and the world was put to rights.

I was quite relieved to see how ugly they made the nanny, and that it wasn't her who ended up marrying the father. What with The Sound of Music and the whole Jude Law thing, people seem to be obsessed with the idea of nannies getting off with single fathers. That's one of the worst things about being a nanny: people always asking you if you're secretly having it away with the kids' dad. You're there to help the family cope with their gene pool, not add to it.

What was funny was how Nanny McPhee got prettier as the film went on. The warts on her face mysteriously disappeared as the children got to like her more. By the time she left, she looked quite nice, which is odd because nannying usually makes you look old and haggard. I'd like to have started my career ugly and ended up pretty, but after five years of nannying, I already seem to look 10 years older.

It's a lovely film for children, but if you want to learn some real childcare skills, you'd be better off watching Supernanny on TV. Also, Nanny McPhee only took Sunday afternoons off. Most nannies nowadays have at least one full day a week and holidays, thank God.

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